Sarah Tallman

Dancer, Choreographer

“the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.”

-Jack Kerouac, On the Road

Why I Don't Like Cheetos

Why I Don’t Like Cheetos

The hardest part about starting something new is…starting. Yes, this is earth shattering information my friends. AND, it’s totally true. Starting is complicated and messy. It’s uncomfortable and bewildering. It’s totally not tangible and the results are not guaranteed. Resistance moves in like an uninvited guest, plops itself down in MY seat on the couch, opens a bag of Cheetos and begins devouring its contents…without a napkin.  

Moving past the resistance is where the power, growth, and transformation happen. This is the magic and the only way to get to the magic is to do the work. Now, normally I am a proponent of let it happen, ease into things, surrender to the flow and I still am. However, there is no substitute for doing the work. Getting into the muck. Taking 100% responsibility for asking the hard questions while releasing attachment to the answers or outcomes.

For example: I LOVE my house. I love waking up in the morning. I have a ritual of opening the shades, letting the sunbeams pour over my bright red couch and lime green walls. I shuffle my feet inside of my sheep lined slippers and make my way to the coffee pot. I pour my first cup, feed my fur babies and sit. Oh it feels so good!!! I make my list for the day and then immediately don’t want to do anything on the list. Why? Because it disturbs my order. It gets messy.  It means my house might be cluttered. It means that I can no longer live in vagueness or ambiguity. It means I have to get real, and stand in truth. It means I have to figure out what that is. It means DO THE WORK. I can only ride my unicorn if there is a unicorn to ride. Meaning, there is no magic without effort. There are no rainbows without rain, right? So let’s “Make it Rain!!”

Here’s what I experience when I get the guts to start. I sprawl out and take up space.  Markers, papers, journals, music, tea, animals, candles, crystals, incense. I have a full on woo-woo meets logic party in my living room. Furniture gets moved, phone is silenced, and we’re off. The journey is a full on splash into the muddiest of puddles. There I am in my red rain boots, a flowery dress, and a head full of sparkles. The work will not be finished in a day. These are baby steps.  It is inspired action with no knowledge of what happens in the end. And just when it gets sticky, the rainbows show up and the unicorn appears in full view. Creation has begun and it’s full of ENERGY. This is Surrender. When I choose NOT to take action ( and there is always a choice), I have allowed perfectionism to wriggle its’ way into the big picture, and really there just isn’t room. The energy of perfection is low and slow. Let it go. Play is steeped in truth, unconditional love and “sparklism” (this is clearly a made up word that lives in fairydom…also made up.) Get dirty, lean in, and know that tomorrow the sun will once again show up in the castle. Energy begets energy, so let’s make it the high vibe sort.

Resistance is a teacher, it’s a loving guide towards living a life full of dreams. Resistance is a sure sign that change and growth are on the horizon. Inviting this in is a call to a vivacious dive into a vortex of “heck ya” living. It’s exhilarating and nerve racking and delightfully uncomfortable. 

I’ll still wake up in the morning, open my blinds, shuffle to the coffee pot, love on my fur kiddos and make my list.  I will still feel the ease of morning and the promise of a new day AND there WILL be resistance, and to that I say Welcome! Leave your Cheetos at the door.

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